Who Needs Sleep? with Lorne

Sleep is something I have a pretty love/hate relationship with. Not that I hate sleep at all; indeed in the strangest of ways slumber time is my favourite part of the day. 

When we sleep, suddenly the stresses of the day dissipate. No longer do we worry about money or work, but instead there's a distinct possibility we'll find ourselves on desert islands with Katy Perry or, for some reason, acting as an undercover reporter at a Bruno Mars gig (it's been a funny old week for dreams...).

The problem is, there never seems to be enough time for sleep. No matter what time we intend to get to bed, it never turns out as planned, and despite my recent attempts to combat insomnia (bath before bed, a little light reading, no caffeine after three pm) my sleep pattern is still utterly erratic, leavi me still exhausted when my alarm sounds just after seven. It probably doesn't help that every other night or morning of late has been interrupted by some problem or another from around the country. There are times I hate being so reliable...

So with too little sleep, we find ourselves groggy, needing caffeine and a general grumpus for the rest of the day, longing that we could have tapped the snooze button just one more time. But then win too much sleep, for some bizarre reason, the exact same thing seems to occur. Sleep for more than eight hours and we wake up with a storming headache, just as moody as if we were equally deprived and just as much use to the world that lies ahead.

So what, therefore, is the answer? How do we find that perfect amount of sleep? How do we capture that rare feeling that only happens once in a blue moon when we awaken wonderfully rested and ready to take on the day with a skip and a smile?

I honestly don't think we can. So the answer? Rid ourselves of sleep altogether. Sure, we would sacrifice some pretty awesome dreamtime, and with it those fleeting memories of dates with Taylor Swift, and if the Whedonverse is anything to go by, there's also a strong possibility of unleashing a maddened Hyde-like version of ourselves, but in the end it'll be worth it. We'll be happier, more focused and never filled with that hump day fatigue. And also we'll drink an awful lot less coffee, so we might just topple the evil that is Starbucks. Unless of course they start serving seabreezes for elevenses...