It’s very difficult to try and 2012's Spiderman reboot objectively. Aside from the obvious “too soon” statement upon every audience member’s lips, there is something so very iconic about Sam Raimi’s Spiderman that it was always going to be difficult to beat. Uncle Ben’s “With Great Power…” speech. The Spidey kiss. Even the infamous Saturday Night Fever-esque struts of Spiderman 3 are such a notable part of so many people’s growing up, that no matter what director Marc Webb brought to the table in his allegedly darker retelling, it was never going to be enough for most die-hard fans.
So let’s not dwell too much on what was, and look instead at what is.
In The Amazing Spiderman we are once again taken back to the beginning on a journey that ticks all of the boxes in Spiderman mythology; bitten by a radioactive spider, Peter Parker (played by could-be One Direction member Andrew Garfield) falls for high school sweetheart Mary Jane… Check that, Gwen Stacey (sultry and husky Emma Stone), loses his beloved Uncle Ben at the hands of a petty crook after some stupid decisions, and goes on to battle a mutated mentor, all the while getting to grips with his newfound spider-senses.
On paper, it ticks all of the right boxes, and indeed there is some good to be found here; a couple of touching scenes, most notably for this jaded Spidey fan, the moment when school bully Flash Thompson (a rather pathetically unthreatening Chris Zylka… in fact, I can’t of a less convincing school hard-ass save for Kiefer Sutherland in Stand By Me) actually sympathises with Parker’s lost uncle, and a wonderful scene in which Spidey saves a young boy from a car moments before it plummets into the Hudson. Rhys Ifans’ performance as teacher-turned-nemesis Curt Connors is also at times touching, if somewhat underdeveloped, and Martin Sheen does a nice job as the tragic Uncle Ben.
Where the film truly falls short however, is in its attempts to be a darker, more brooding Spiderman. The attempts to echo the success of Batman Begins are evident throughout, but whereas Nolan’s films worked by bringing the Dark Knight into a reality, the Marvel Universe is flawed in its own supernatural elements. When your hero is empowered by a modified spider and your villains are giant lizard men, it’s a little difficult to imagine this really happening in downtown New York.
Of course, if the story is strong, we, as an audience, will buy it. Unfortunately, the script is so clunky and jumpy it feels like it has been written by a first-year script-writing student with a little too much time on his hands. The exposition is so heavy-handed that one scene in particular will remain in my head for years to come as the most ridiculous foretelling-of-a-baddie’s-plan moment of all time… Not quite word for word, but;
INT: OSCORP LABS
A large, ominous-looking machine. Enter DR CURT CONNORS.
CONNORS: Hello, I’m Dr Curt Connors. I want to rid the world of weakness. This is a machine that can cover an entire city with a cloud of toxic gas.
Obviously, not quite verbatim, but I swear, not far off. And how does the Lizard discover that Spiderman is actually Peter Parker? Spidey drops his camera during a scuffle, and conveniently on it is a sticker stating “Property of Peter Parker”. Come on people! At times, the writing honestly feels like a poorly plotted episode from Spiderman The Animated Series. The intrepid soul-searching and “quest for answers” promised by the marketing campaign is also completely non-existent. Having a brooding lead does not automatically mean that there are answers to be found; one does have to ask some questions in the first place!
But, the question is, is it enjoyable? And yes, I have to admit, I had a good time. Though not a patch on its predecessors, there is fun to be had here. Quite simply put, it’s Spidey for the Beiber generation. I’m already fully aware of the tweenage (and worryingly older) Garfield fans this end of the globe, and can only imagine the starry eyed young girls swooning over the far-too-attractive-to-be-Peter-Parker young fellow in the est of the world. I guess the only way to properly gauge this film as a success would be to wait until this year’s twelve year-olds are subjected to the next reboot in 2024 and see how they react. But for me? Spiderman? Not quite… Amazing? Far from it.
So what can we expect when the much-publicised sequel hits the big screen next week? Well, there's at least three baddies (with speculation that Venom may also pop in for a cameo in anticipation of his upcoming spin-off film) which, if Spidey 3 is anything to go by, may not end well, there'll be some brooding from Mr. Garfield, and there will be plenty of vertigo-inducing 3D sequences.
And Emma Stone. There'll be plenty of that...
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