I love nature. People often ask me what I miss the most about Japan, and my answer is always the same; the wildlife. My summer days in the south of Japan were shared with a cornucopia of furry friends and creepy crawlies, including Stuart, my house gecko, and Gerrald, the dinner plate-sized spider that lived above my front door. My morning coffees were spent with the terrapins and snakes out on the balcony, and at times I genuinely felt like I was living in a Gerald Durrell book.
So returning to the UK to our less-than-inspiring native fauna has been something of a disappointment. Up in Durham, it's rare to see anything more exotic than a pigeon, let alone a cheerful turtle.
As such, it has been with a childlike glee that I have spent the last few days wandering through the parks of Bournemouth, only to be confronted by hundreds (not exaggerating here) of bushy-tailed grey squirrels. I know many will argue that they are vermin, or that the are an invasive Yankie species, driving out our native reds like McDonalds has destroyed Wimpy, but personally I love them. Their neurotic antics and curious nature utterly endearing.
So, in true Inner Monoblog fashion, to celebrate my rekindled adoration for our bushy friends, I've put together a short list of my favourite squirrels. Enjoy!
5. Squirrel Nutkin
The protagonist of Beatrix Potter's eponymous Tale, Squirrel Nutkin is one of Potter's darkest stories. A complete ass, who enjoys nothing more than annoying people, Nutkin goes too far in his taunting of Old Brown the owl, and almost gets himself skinned by the foul-tempered tawny. Fortunately, Nutkin escapes, merely losing his tail in the process, but learns that being an annoying douche has painful consequences.
4. Squeakers
Another annoying little bugger, this fellow makes the list for having some of The Emporer's New Groove's most hilariously memorable scenes. Whether it's threatening to wake a group of sleeping wolves by popping a balloon llama (where the heck does he get a balloon from in C15 Peru??) or conversing in squirrel talk with Patrick Warburton, he's one of the real stars of this highly underrated Disney flick.
3. The Squirrel Nut Zippers
One of my all time favourite bands, The Squirrel Nut Zippers are a delightfully eclectic mix of Ska, Jazz and Big Band. You've probably never heard of them, but their song Hell has been used on dozens of movie soundtracks, so you'll know at least one of their tunes.
4. Slappy the Squirrel
Animaniacs was a freakin' amazing show. Witty, well animated, and surprisingly educational (Wacko's States and their Capitals song has stuck with me for almost twenty years now), Animaniacs boasted some of the most well thought-out characters ever seen in a kids show. Pinky and the Brain, Chicken Boo, and of course, the crotchety old rodent, Slappy the Squirrel. Living in an old tree with her peppy nephew Scrappy, Slappy will always stay in my nostalgia banks as the woman who taught me the old joke about the Who being on stage... "Who's on stage?" "That's right!" "No, Who's on stage??" "Who!" "That's what I said!" Etc, etc...
5. Doreen Green
One of Marvel's lesser-known heroes, Doreen Green, better known as Squirrel Girl is actually one of Earth 616's mightiest heroes, having taken down Doctor Doom, Wolverine and even Thanos single handedly. She has served the Avengers, the Great Lakes Avengers and currently works for Heroes for Hire (albeit as Jessica Jones and Luke Cage's nanny) and has a delightful sidekick called Monkey Joe. Admittedly, my secret love of furries may have helped her top this list, but hey, we all have our kinks.
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