Tuesday 11 March 2014

Out On the Open Road with Max and Goofy

I love road trips. Admittedly I haven't been in the driver's seat properly in almost ten years, but I do love a jolly good car ride.

Kicking back in the passenger seat, music blaring and knowing (hopefully) that you're off on an awesome new adventure with your bestest buddy by your side. Obviously you're inevitably going to need to pee at some point, usually just after passing a service station with the next one not for twenty three miles (yeah, I kind of need a pee right now) and then end up spending twenty pounds on a Happy Meal (who's smiling now Ronald, you creepy bastard?!). But for the most part, you'll be taking in the lovely countryside, wailing along to whatever CDs you've remembered to pick up, and trying your hardest not to get stuck behind too many lorries or traffic jams.

Of course, when you've run out of tunes, filled yourself with over-priced Burger King and trying to think of anything but running water, there's always the option of a game or two. Here are a few of my favourites. Why not try one? Or multitask and try them all. That's what I'm doing...

Zitch Dog
Anyone who watches How I Met Your Mother will be aware of Marshall and Zed's bizarrely named game which essentially consists of shouting "zitch dog" whenever passing by a canine. Why zitch dog? No-one knows, but I'm having fun Snap-chatting my mate whilst he's at work with various fluffy friends as we pass them.

The Eddie Stobart Game
Eddie Stobart, for those not in the UK, is a very British haulage firm famed for its fleet of very green trucks. When exactly this game arose, I'm not sure, but it's played very competitively between my family. Like most highway games, it's a case of being the first one to spot an oncoming truck and shouting "Stobart" as loudly as possible. One point is rewarded for a full truck, half for just the cab, and three for one of those insane double lorries. 

Yellow Car
A better game for a car full of lads rather than when driving with your minute lady friend (for obvious reasons), this basically involves punching the other people in the car as hard as possible whenever passing a yellow car. Nothing more to it. The winner is the one with the least bruised arm by the time you reach your final destination.

Roadkill
This was one introduced to me by my friend Adam. You basically garner points for every dead animal you see. The scoring system is along the following lines;

Undeterminable carnage - 1 Point
Pheasant, crow or other bird - 2 Points
Rabbit or hare - 3 Points
Badger or fox - 4 Points
Cat - 5 Points
Dog - 6 Points
Sheep - 7 Points
Deer - 8 Points
Cow or horse - 9 Points
Mountain Lion - 10 Points

Obviously, we don't get all that many mountain lions in the UK, but the option is always there! Arguments are bound to ensure as to whether that actually was a sheep or just a large white hair, but that's all part of the game!

So next time you need a break from modern living, and you long to rest your weary load, if your nerves are raw and your brain is fried, just grab a friend and take ride together upon the open road!


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