Bloody British Weather with Brick Tamland

We Brits are famous for our continuous conversing about the weather. In most countries and cultures, this would be considered quite dull; weather is pretty constant anywhere else in the world, so why are we so obsessed? 

It's quite simple really; despite the international image that England is always rainy, our climate is actually annoyingly changeable and unpredictable. I need only call to the stand the iPhone weather app over the course of this weekend. Despite informing us that we were in for a miserable few days off, save for an hour-long shower on Saturday evening, we have had blazing sun all weekend. Things are so utterly unpredictable that even Siri can't second guess.

That said, we are not exactly blessed with good weather; we spend the majority of the year bemoaning the rain, the sleet, the April snow showers, and then when the sun finally does pop its ellusive self from amongst the clouds, we complain at its tardiness.

And then comes the delightful sight of the British man in the sun... 

Now, if we Brits, as a nation, were svelt, muscular mahogany-skinned Adoni, then I would hold nothing against the bevy of men who strip to their short shorts at the first sign of sun, but the sad truth is that the pasty, overweight, hideously tattooed army of middle-aged men that seem to crawl out of the woodwork during British summertime is such a sickening sight, that more often than not, I would rather stay indoors than brave burning my eyes on the sunshine reflecting off their palid shoulders.

The uncertainty of our weather means that trying to make any definite plans is entirely impossible. "What are you doing this weekend?" Inevitably illicits the response "well, if it isn't raining...". Planning a picnic? Better have a back-up. Going to the cinema? Probably a safe bet all round.

All this week, Bournemouth has been preparing for the Wheels Festival, essentially a big car show, but one that the council has spent one heck of a lot of money on. The news has been telling us all week that we were in for one of the stormiest weekends of the year so far, and as such the local government has been squirming in their boots at the prospect of having wasted an awful lot of taxpayers' loot. Luckily for all involved, however, it has been a scorcher, and the beaches have been rammed with tourists and locals alike swooning over Subarus and scooters.

Is it always raining in Britain? As I so often tell my students, no, it isn't. You simply can't determine when it won't be. If you want stability, go study in Australia, that way you can always complain about the heat. But if you want the full on English experience, then you need to put up we us complaining about the weather almost as much as the weather itself.