Solving 80s Crime with Tom Selleck's Moustache

The eighties was a golden era for the detective drama. In a time when rolled up jacket sleeves were the height of fashion, Culture Club were still in vogue, and Timothy Dalton was proving to be the slickest man to have ever held a licence to kill, television was finding new ways to push the boundaries of explosions and bizarre hooks.

This is the decade that brought us KIT, making us believe that some day each and every one of us could go and fight crime in a talking car. Indeed, if Apple make sure to install Siri into the forthcoming iCar (not to be confused with iCarly, a show I miss even more than many I'm about to mention), it could soon be a reality for us all. I'd like to think that by season twelve of Sherlock, John Watson will have been replaced by a VW running on IOS42. And if not for Knightrider, we might never have been introduced to the Hoff, meaning no Baywatch, and by causality depriving us not only of a weekly dose of Pamela Anderson in her swimwear, but also the greatest scene in the Spongbob Squarepants Movie. Think on that for a moment...

http://m.youtube.com/watch?autoplay=1&v=brTGAgUYnIc&desktop_uri=%252Fwatch%253Fv%253DbrTGAgUYnIc%2526autoplay%253D1

The eighties brought us The A Team, MacGuyver, Quincy, and, of course, the immortal Angela Lansbury in Murder, She Wrote. To this day, I dream of the missing crossover episode in which Jessica Fletcher and Diagnosis, Murder's Dr. Sloan solve the mysterious case of a spate of poisonings at the local county fair. I'd call it Diagnosis, She Wrote. Or Murder, Murder. Either way, it would be the most significant televisual event since Quantum Leap. And I do not say that lightly.

Anyways, the reason for this foray into mystery-based nostalgia stems from an afternoon spent curled up on the couch watching reruns of what is undoubtedly the greatest detective drama of the eighties, if not of all time; Magnum PI.

The reasons for Magnum's awesomeness can be summarised in five simple points:

1. Tom Selleck's moustache.

2. Higgins. Probably the coolest guy to have ever lived.

3. TC's enormous chopper (by which I mean his helicopter).

4. Rick's enormous chopper (by which I DON'T mean his helicopter).

5. Tom Selleck's moustache. That's right, it's so good it makes the list twice.

Throughout the series, Thomas Magnum spends his entire time lounging about his luxurious beachside condo, occasionally solving crimes in between winding up his overly British chum and helping coach the local little league team. And when all this proves too much, he chills out with his bestest buddy Rick at the local bar, picking up whatever lovely lady takes his eye that week. He is essentially living every man's dream. And he's Tom Selleck.

What more could you want from a tv show? Or life for that matter? Except possibly this moustache...